LOL Just read
by GottaLoveThatTris
Summary: Funny Harry Potter Things 4 Y'all. R&R Tell me if you have some of your own!


p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;" /p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrongHilarious. Just...read it. strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;" p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong1) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong3) I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show me the pointy hat trick.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after me lucky charms."strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong8) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this year's Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's tasteless, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month."strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force."strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong13) I am not allowed to claim that growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is "Extra Herbology Work."strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong14) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong16) I will not lock the Slytherins and Gryffindors in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong17) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong18) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug A Slytherin Day."strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong20) It is not necessary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong21) I am not authorised to negotiate a peace treaty with Voldemortstrong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong24) I will stop referring to showering as "Giving Moaning-Myrtle an eye-full."strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"strongem25) ememI am not allowed to lock Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy in a closet to see who will come out alive/em/strong/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong26) It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong27) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong28) I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor shall I insist that their color's indicate that they're "covered in bees."strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong29) I will not tell Draco to "Make like a ferret and bounce"strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong30) It is exceptionally tasteless to tell Professor Lupin 'Once you go black you never go back'strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong31) I will not use Umbridge's quill to write, "Told you I was Hard Core."strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong32) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"strongem33)em emI will not greet Professor McGonagall with "What's new pussy cat?"/em/strong/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong34) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as Body Lotion.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong35) I will not call the Weasly twins, "bookends."strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong36) I will not call the Patil twins, "bookends."strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong37) I will not start singing and dancing in the middle of lessons and claim someone put the imperious cure on me.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong38) I will not tell Ron and Hermione to 'get a room' whenever they start fightingstrong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"strongem39)em emI will not tell Severus Snape he takes himself too seriously. Same applied for Minerva McGonagall./em/strong/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong40) Ravenclaws do not find a sign saying the library is closed for an indefinite time period funny in any sense. Nor does Hermione Granger.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong41) I do not weigh the same as a Duck.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong42) I do not have a Dalek Patronus.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong43) I will not lick Trevor.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong44) Gryffindor Courage does not come in bottles labeled, "Firewhiskey."strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong45) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong46) I will not refer to Lucius Malfoy as a pimp - even if he does carry a pimp canestrong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong47) I am no longer allowed to use the words 'pimp cane' in front of Draco Malfoystrong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"strongem48) ememI will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knights Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions./em/strong/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong49) "To conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong50) I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the Voice of God.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong51) I will not tell the first years to build a treehouse in the Whomping Willow.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong52) I will not tell Filch that Peeves has left. It is cruel to get his hopes up like that.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong53) I am not allowed to skip through the hallways singing the "Wizards of Waverly Place" theme song.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong54) I am not allowed to attack the new Head Boy with water ballons.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong55) I am not allowed to change the Slytherin common room to red and gold.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong56) I am not allowed to tell the Revenclaws andor Hermione Granger that the libray has been closed down./strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong57) I am not allowed to tell Lockheart that his fanclub is waiting in the Whomping Willow.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong58) I will not slip Malfoy a Love Potion in his morning goblet of Pumpkin Juice.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong59) I will not say the phrase "Dude, get a life" to Voldemort.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong60) Should I chance to see a Death Eater wearing a white mask, I should not start singing anything from The Phantom of the Opera.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong61) I will not call Dumbledore "Santa Claus!" during the Christmas Holidays.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong62) I will not put Muggle fairy book in the History section at the library.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong63) I will not send Snape a bottle of shampoo for Christmas.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong64.)House elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong65.)I am not allowed to tell Hufflepuffs there is no Santa Clause.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong66.) I am not allowed to refer to myself as the New Dark Lord.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong67.)I am not allowed to sneak into Professor Snapes private chambers to watch him sing I Will Survive in the mirror, as it is disturbing.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong68.) I am not allowed to steal Professor Flitwicks wand, hold it over my head and laugh as he tries to reach it.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong69.)I will not replace Madam Pomfrey's Skele-Gro with pumpkin juice.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong70.) I will not replace Professor Snape's pumpkin juice with Skele-Gro.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong71.) I will not impersonate the Swedish Chef in Potions class.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong72.)The next time that I see Rita Skeeter, I am not to threaten her with a can of Raid.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong73.)I will not subvert the lock on the fourth-floor girls' bathroom and sell its location to first-years as "The Chamber of Secrets".strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong74.)A Muggle "vacuum cleaner" is not acceptable Quidditch equipment, even if it has been enchanted to fly.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong75.) Hogsmeade village is not "a wretched hive of scum and villainy. "strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong76.)I will not tell Professor Trelawney that I prophesied her death.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong77.). I will also not tell Professor Trelawney that I had a vision of her killing the Dark Lord.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong78.)Sending rings to the nine senior faculty at Yuletide, with the return address "Voldemort", is not funny.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong79.)Insisting that the school acquire computers and network the buildings is a pointless request as they claim that a quill and parchment is sufficient.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong80.)Calling the Ghostbusters is a cruel joke to play on the resident ghosts and poltergeists.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong81.)I may not have a private army.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong82.) I must not substitute chocolate-flavored laxative for Professor Lupin's prescription-strength chocolate.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong83.)Nor am I to in any way substitute, alter, hide, or otherwise tamper with Professor Dumbledore's candy.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong84.)I am not the wicked witch of the west.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong85.) -I will not refer to Professor Umbridge as such either.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong86.) I will not melt if water is poured over me.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong87.) -Neither will Professor Umbridge.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong89.)I shouldn't use Photoshop to create incriminating photos of my house prefects or tutors.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong90.)I will not enchant the Golden Snitch to fly up the nearest fan's nose.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong91.) I do not know the Avada Kedavra curse, and pretending I do to people who annoy me is not funny, no matter how much they injure themselves diving for cover.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong92.) I will not test my Potions assigments by spiking Snape's drink with them.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong93.) - Especially not all of them at once.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong94.) I will not try to hock off my old piercings as "priceless Muggle artifacts."strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong95.) I will not claim my X-Files tapes are "Auror Training Videos.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong96.)Professor Snape definitely does not have pointed ears, and under no circumstances is he to be addressed as 'Spock'.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong97.)I am not able to see the Grim Reaper, nor am I to claim that he is standing by the Headmaster, tapping an hourglass and looking at him impatiently. Or, for that matter, Harry Potter.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong98.)When being interrogated by a member of staff, I am not to wave my hand and announce 'These are not the droids you are looking for'.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong99.)Thestrals do not resemble the Muggle toys known as 'My Little Pony'.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong100.)The four Houses are not the Morons, the Borons, the Smarts and the Junior Death Eaters.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong101.)I will not claim there is a prequel to Hogwarts, A History that explains about Bilbo Baggins.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong102.)I will not use the Marauder's Map for stalking purposes.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong103.)I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintballing.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong104.)I am not allowed to ask Professor Dumbledore if the size of his beard is 'compensating for something'.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong105.)I will not create a betting pool on that Voldemort is Harry Potter's father.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong106.)Professor Snape's proper given name is not Princess Silvermoon Fairywing GlimmerMcSparkles.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong107.)I will not play the Imperial March theme for Professor Snape.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong108.). - However, when Lucius Malfoy visits, I may play it.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong109.)If I insist on carrying out my plans of producing "Riddle-de-dee: The Voldemort Musical", I will do so under a nom-de-plume.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong110.) I will not attempt to recruit the title character to play himself. Even if he looks good in tap shoes.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong111.)I should not refer to Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle collectively as "Team Rocket" either.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong112.)I am not a 'ninja sent here by Lord Voldemort to destroy Harry Potter' and should stop shouting this at meal times.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong113.)It's not tasteful to approach Cho wearing a shirt that says All the good-looking ones die young with a picture of Cedric Diggory on it.strong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong114.)I will not yell "Hey look It's Lord Voldemort!" at Hogsmeadestrong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong115.)I will not tease Voldemort about the time he needed his pink flowery teddy bear to comfort him when he had that bad bad nightmare about Harrystrong/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5135135650635px;"emstrong116.)I will not charm a poster of myself on Draco's wall, no matter how much I know he wants it.strong/em/p 


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